The Art Of Fake Familiarity For Better Sales

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We (still) live in a world of really bad email pitches.

I recently got an email pitch from a public relations specialist that read something like this: “Hey Mitch, I work with Lame Corp. I’m a big fan of your blog and your newspaper articles. I know that you have written about our research before, so I’m attaching some new findings that I know you will find interesting. Our President, Mr. Lame-O, would love to spend some time with you on the phone to discuss our latest research, so please let me know if we can arrange some time in the next few days for you two to connect. I also saw on Twitter that you were at the Google offices in Mountain View recently. I have never been, but I hope to get the chance to go at some point in the near future.” If you, your company or the communications agency that represents you has ever sent an email pitch like this before to start the sales cycle, you may be wondering what the issue is?

The problem with sales pitching via email is a topic that is constantly (and hotly) debated in the online channels.

While the general onslaught of non-personalized and near-offensive sales pitches continues to deluge the inbox of anyone who blogs and tweets (regardless of audience size and relevance), there’s no doubt that some sales pros have spent a significant amount of time, money and resources as they inch away from the “spray and pray” model of blasting their self-involved pitches to anyone with a publish button over to one where they spend time training themselves to get better at knowing their target market that much more. Hence, the problem with the pitch above… it’s stuck in the middle.

Push beyond the middle.

It’s definitely not a non-personalized pitch, but it’s also an individual (and a company that they represent) that I simply don’t know (or don’t remember). And so, it turns out that faking familiarity has an air of creepiness that is somewhat more disturbing than the spam that came before it. In the age of social media, networked people and a world where publishing everything (including our comings and goings and pictures of our kids) in places like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, it should come as no surprise that the smarter businesses are going to leverage this social data in some form of manipulative way (at least, the more dubious ones will). My first reaction to the pitch was to do a quick search on my blog for their company, name and research to see, if in fact, I had previously mentioned them. Guess what? Zero. Nada. Never. So now, they’re not only trying to fake familiarity, but they’re lying in the process.

Sales is human relations – regardless of whether you’re hiding behind a keyboard or standing in front of someone at a local chamber of commerce networking event.

That’s the biggest part of social media that the majority of companies still fail to accept and embrace. The companies that have made strides are the one that made changes to their corporate culture (both internally and externally) by using social media. The over-arching spirit of this shift it to create more powerful and real connections. It’s not easy to do this and it takes a significant amount of corporate restructuring, top-down desire from the c-suite and a general impetus to change how the general public deals and interacts with a business. The above scenario isn’t about a bad sales pitch. It’s about a company that thinks it’s leveraging social media to better connect with a constituency, when in reality they’re using the channel to manipulate.

The real question is this: in a world of spammers and those trying to create a sense of familiarity, how do you – as a business – truly connect with customers and media in a more powerful and profound way?

The answer is simple (and not all that technical): how would you approach someone you really wanted to meet if you ran into them at an airport lounge? The art of social networking doesn’t come from the “social” part of the equation… it comes from the “networking” part. The brands and individuals who build up significant audiences that are both engaged in their messages and helpful in terms of amplifying them are the ones who take the time to be the best networkers. They introduce themselves in a kind, simple and short way. They do their best to understand the people they’re connecting to. They provide value first and are, ultimately, respectful of the other individual’s time and temperament.

It’s sad to see how often those sales professionals push words around without taking the time to do their homework first.

They say that they have so many clients who are demanding that as many people as possible see their messages and news. They simply do not have the time to get to know each and every individual that they’re sending out messaging to. That those they’re sending brand messaging out to are not all that kind and treat them with disdain. What these “professionals” and the brands that hire them have to understand is that social media is an ecosystem where great ideas do spread (look no further that how videos go viral on YouTube or how new business ventures get significant funding on Kickstarter). The real trick is in doing the work in the upfront phases of your business development to win friends and influence people in a digital world.

It may be easier to just blast anyone and everyone with your messaging, but odds are you will reap much greater rewards if you take the time to truly – and authentically – connect in a world where we’re all connected.

If you want to learn how to do more with your business, I am thrilled to announce that I will be a featured presenter in Jeffrey Gitomer‘s new webinar bootcamp, {Re-define} Yourself. The online education series takes place from December 10th – 14th, 2012 right at your desk. This event is not free, so make sure to click on the link to register. Gitomer is the bestselling author of The Sales Bible. The Little Red Book of Selling, Social BOOM! and a ton of other books. The dirty, little secret here is that Gitomer is a true business icon in my life. I have not only read every book he has written, but have been a longtime subscriber to his e-zine, Sales Caffeine, and have paid to attend his past webinars and conferences. He’s not only smart about what it takes to make the sale, but he’s funny, on point and in-your-face (something we could all use, every once in a while). In this webinar series with Gitomer, I’m going to discuss how individuals can re-define their social media space to make their content and connections that much more personal, interesting and lucrative. The above article was a tweak from an earlier blog post I had written, and it was featured in this week’s edition of Sales Caffeine, which you can view here: The Art of Fake Familiarity. To register for the webinar series, please visit: Jeffrey Gitomer’s Webinar Boot Camp 2012 {Re•define} Yourself.


  1. Great post here Mitch. As a sports marketing specialist (in sales) at a radio station I discovered long ago that it doesn’t matter if it’s email, social media, on the phone, or face to face…if you aren’t real, if you aren’t yourself, and if you don’t know what you are talking about it will show!
    Great words again here.

  2. Is it not possible that this company did the research under subcontract for another organization and that you therefore never even knew to credit the first organization? I just ask because it might not so clearly be lying.
    I know that I’ve done a ton of research that has never been credited to my name.

  3. Mitch,
    When you blog, speak and especially podcast as much as you do; many followers will feel like they are familiar with you. That’s normal and maybe something you don’t think about?
    Of course, that’s doesn’t excuse the example sales pitch you reference.

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