We talk a lot about “being yourself” or “bringing your whole self to work”… but what if the “modern self” isn’t something you are… it’s something you now produce professionally?

I went to a concert recently and watched almost everybody filming, taking pictures, or streaming the show.
It felt like they were producing an experience instead of living an experience.
Somewhere between conversations about authenticity, reputation and digital identity, it hit me… we’re drifting into a strange, subtle shift in how we define the self.

We’re in a strange reality where identity has become a kind of performance art.

Because on social media… what you show becomes who you are.
The aspirational self becomes the believable self.
The curated pieces of content become the whole story.
Not just in how others perceive you… but in how you start to perceive yourself.

And here’s the twist…

We know we’re performing when we do it.
But when we watch others, we think they’re being real.
That loop is doing something to us.
It’s blurring the line between who we are and who we direct ourselves to be.
It’s turning sincerity into editing… and editing into identity.
It’s building a world where everyone is performing authenticity while quietly doubting their own.

And I can’t help but wonder…

If identity becomes something we manufacture… what happens to the parts of us that were never meant to be optimized, filtered or broadcast?
How will AI (especially tech like ChatGPT) pull us even further from our true selves?
What happens to the messier truths… the contradictions… the unfinished pieces that actually make us human?
And when I get attacked in the comments for contradicting myself or writing something unclear… where’s the incentive not to sanitize everything I post?
To manage how others see me… or how I see myself?
At what point do we stop thinking of “self-expression” as expression… and start seeing it as quality control?

This thought surfaced while editing this week’s episode of Thinking With Mitch Joel – The ThinkersOne Podcast.

My guest is Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic (psychologist, entrepreneur, and author of the just-released book Don’t Be Yourself – Why Authenticity Is Overrated And What To Do Instead).
We dug deep into how fragile (and malleable) our sense of self has become, especially in a world where digital mirrors are everywhere… and increasingly more flattering, more deceiving and more demanding.

Is social media and AI expanding who we are… or slowly replacing us with the version we think others want to see?

What do you think?

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