Notes From The Anti-Social Century

Americans are alone.

Not metaphorically. Not occasionally. Not even geographically.
We’re talking about a seismic shift – a culture that has turned solitude into its default setting.

Here’s a question: When did isolation become aspirational?

Derek Thompson’s The Anti-Social Century article in this past week’s The Atlantic sketches an unsettling portrait (and it is a “must-read” for everyone).
Empty restaurant bars.
Quiet movie theaters.
No investment in libraries, pools and public spaces.
Suburbs and screens pulling us further apart.

And the data? It’s loud.

In-person socializing has dropped 20% since 2003. Among young men and those under 25, the decline is an eye-popping 35%.
Loneliness, however, isn’t the headline.
It’s not rising as you’d expect.
The UCLA Loneliness Scale shows little change.
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has called loneliness the next public health crisis.

But the real crisis?

We’re not lonely by circumstance.
We’re lonely by choice.

The bar is closed.

Take the small Mexican restaurant that Derek writes about in his article.
Before the pandemic, its bar was alive with conversation, the kind of place where stories were swapped over margaritas.
Today, that same bar is a loading zone for takeout bags.
No greetings. No chatter. Just transactions.
Now, 74% of all restaurant traffic is for takeout or delivery.
We saw Starbucks shift from the Third Space to drive-through and mobile app pickups.
We’re not just eating alone; we’re designing our lives for it.

This isn’t just about food.

Hollywood, once America’s communal dream factory, has become a private streaming service.
In the 1930s, movie theaters were second homes.
People attended multiple times a month.
Today, the average American watches 19 hours of TV weekly but buys just three movie tickets a year.

The shift is unmistakable.

We’re swapping shared experiences for solitary ones.
And here’s the kicker: It’s not making us happier.
According the article:
Men now spend seven hours watching TV for every one hour spent with other people.
Women spend more time actively engaging with their pets than with human friends.
Solo dining? Up 29% in two years.

We’re not retreating because we’re lonely. We’re retreating because it’s easy.

But easy isn’t better.
AI companions like those on Character.ai are filling the void.
Millions of people spend hours daily talking to virtual friends.
They’re never moody, never busy, never disagreeable.
But they’ll also never challenge you.

Connection isn’t just about convenience. It’s about confrontation. Growth.

Without it, our politics become meaner.
Our communities shrink.

And our reality?

It splinters.
Do we just accept this as the new normal?
Or do we fight for connection?

There are glimpses of a turnaround.

Independent bookstores are thriving as community hubs.
Board-game cafes are making shared spaces cool again.
Schools banning smartphones are taking back face-to-face interactions.
But it’s not enough.

If we want the tide to turn, we need more.

More parks. More libraries. More recreation centers. More public spaces.
And maybe, fewer apps.

The anti-social century doesn’t have to deepen.

But we have to decide.
Do we stay home, or do we step out and build something better?

Because here’s the truth: The choice is still ours.. for now…

This is what Elias Makos and I discussed on CJAD 800 AM. Listen in right here.

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